


didn’t want this throne

by lesbianryuko (ashisverymuchonfire)



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest Spoilers, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Nohr | Conquest Route, Post-Canon, Post-Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest, Siblings, Sisters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 13:11:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19107787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashisverymuchonfire/pseuds/lesbianryuko
Summary: Hinoka and Sakura visit their brothers. Post-Conquest.





	didn’t want this throne

**Author's Note:**

> man this is a long time coming kjdflkjlkksdkf i just kept forgetting to post it!
> 
> anyway last summer i participated in the FE Siblings Zine, focused on different sibling relationships throughout the FE series! since the zine has long since finished and the orders shipped out, i can now post the fic i wrote for it <3 im still sad about conquest lol
> 
> title comes from "what's wrong" by pvris

On the evening of the festival following her coronation ceremony, Hinoka visits her brothers’ graves.

The only person she tells is Yukimura, who promises to entertain the partygoers while she’s gone. She doesn’t even tell Sakura. Her younger sister looks so happy, eating red bean mochi with her retainers and meeting new people from both Hoshido and Nohr. Hinoka doesn’t want to ruin her good mood just yet—there will be plenty of time for her to grieve later.

The gravestones for Ryoma and Takumi—as well as those for their respective retainers—are located in a field of cherry blossoms behind Castle Shirasagi. The stones are built in traditional Hoshidan style: as a five-tier tower, or _gorinto_. Each tier is a different shape and has Hoshidan characters carved into it, and the bodies are buried underground in wooden coffins.

Ryoma’s and Takumi’s graves sit side-by-side in the center of the field, Ryoma on the left and Takumi on the right. To the left of Ryoma’s grave and to the right of Takumi’s are the graves for their retainers: Saizo and Kagero, and Hinata and Oboro, respectively. Hinoka has visited this field many times in the past few days, but her chest still feels heavy seeing it again. Initially, she thought that maybe visiting often would make it easier on her, but now she’s seriously starting to doubt it. Nothing seems to ease the pain.

The graves are so new and so often visited that there is nothing on them to clean off, not even a leaf to brush away. Bouquets of flowers have surrounded the stones since the first day they were erected, and the air still smells faintly of incense that someone else must have burned not long ago. Hinoka sits down in front of her brothers’ gravestones, not caring if she gets grass stains on her dress. She can’t bring herself to care about such trivial matters, not at a time like this, not when both of her brothers are dead.

Both literally and metaphorically, the crown on her head feels heavy and unnatural. Up until a few days ago, she never pictured herself wearing the rising-sun tiara of the Hoshidan queen. She had pictured Mikoto living a much longer life, and she had pictured Ryoma becoming a noble king, the spitting image of Sumeragi.

Hinoka isn’t stupid. She’s considered the possibility of Ryoma dying young, and she always figured that she would pass the throne on to Takumi if the situation ever arose. But she hadn’t thought about it any further than that, and perhaps that was naive on her part. Perhaps she should’ve prepared for war to take Takumi away from her, too.

At first, she doesn’t even notice the tears slipping quietly down her cheeks. Every time she visits the graves, she tries to hold herself together, and every time, she fails. Instinctively, she lowers her head and hides her face in her hands, lest anyone see their freshly-crowned queen crying like a child. It’s only been a few hours since her coronation, and already she feels like she’s let her kingdom down.

“H-Hinoka?”

The voice is quiet, but it startles Hinoka anyway,  and she lifts her head up, hastily wiping away her tears. She doesn’t turn around, though; she doesn’t need to see the person to know who it is. She’d recognize that voice anywhere.

“Sakura?” she says. “What are you doing here?”

“I noticed you were gone,” Sakura replies, her voice getting louder as she walks toward Hinoka and sits down next to her. “And I knew where you’d be.”

“Am I that predictable?” Hinoka says with a sad laugh.

Sakura shrugs. “Well...it’s only fitting.” Then her eyes start to well up with tears, too. “Y-you don’t have to pretend you’re not sad.”

Hinoka shakes her head. “I just...I feel so _lost_ ,” she says softly. “Since the moment I was born, I always knew I could count on Ryoma. He was always _there_. And Takumi...I don’t remember much about life before him. They were both so passionate. They had fire in their hearts. And without them, everything feels…” She trails off as she chokes on a sob.

“Dull?” Sakura suggests. “Gray?” She tries to wipe away her tears, but they just keep coming. “Because...y-yeah. I feel it, too.”

Hinoka leans over and wraps her arms around Sakura, who turns her head and cries into Hinoka’s shoulder. Hinoka knows she shouldn’t be that upset about Ryoma, not when he died so nobly and bravely, not when he died with honor and pride. But how is she supposed to explain grief away? Grief pays no attention to logic. Ryoma is dead, and that is all grief needs to rear its ugly head. Even the bravest, most honorable death could not make it disappear.

And Takumi—perhaps his death hurts even more because Hinoka still doesn’t truly understand how it happened, and because she still feels as though it was her fault. If only she’d realized that he was struggling, that something was different about him. Maybe they could’ve found a way to save him. A thousand possibilities dance in her head whenever she thinks of him, and they remind her of what a terrible, irresponsible older sister she was. Corrin told her not to blame herself, but that doesn’t stop her from feeling like she failed him.

“H-Hinoka,” Sakura says through her tears, looking up at her sister. “It’s just us now. So w-we have to stick together. Promise me—for Ryoma. For Takumi.”

Hinoka nods, holding Sakura tighter. “We will,” she says. “I promise.” _I’ll be damned if I lose you, too._

For most of her life, Hinoka had one reason behind everything she did: _For Corrin._ Now she doesn’t feel the need to fight for Corrin anymore—Corrin is alive and well. So as she stares at her brothers’ gravestones, she gives herself a new mantra, one that she will follow until the end.

_For Ryoma. For Takumi._


End file.
